Broken... and Mending

“When the Japanese mend broken objects they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold, because they believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful” -Barbara Bloom

I think I might be to the point where I'm almost glad that my plans fell through. In regards to marriage, that is. I seriously questioned if I could ever love again, and if so, would it ever be as deep and passionate and wonderful as what I had experienced once? Would anyone ever love me? I felt hurt, abandoned, and betrayed. Broken beyond repair, like there was no one who could fix me or fill that void. I was surrounded by people who loved me, but it wasn't the same.

It's been nearly six months since my ex-future-husband told me I wasn't good enough for him or right for him or something- I still don't understand exactly what it was- and I still look back on it with pain. Yet I am alive, and life is sweet. I have come to realize that yes, I can love again. I can feel it. I will. Perhaps loving someone has less to do with their merits, talents, personality- their general "loveability"- and more to do with the one doing the loving than the one being loved.

Though broken, I am mending. I am returning to who I am and regaining the optimism and enthusiasm that I thought I had lost. I find myself at another crossroads in my life, and I have made my choice. I choose happiness. I choose now to live with passion and love.